All the objects in our lives tell a story.
It doesn't matter if they are broken or whole, proudly displayed on a shelf, hidden at the back of a cupboard, or thrown out with the rubbish, they are all saying something about the people that used them, and the times they were living in.
Whether we like it or not, future societies are going to make judgments about 2026 us based on the bottles, trinkets, and fashion accessories that we use on the daily... and we won't even be able to hide our secrets by burying the proof, because future archaeologists will literally be employed to 'dig up the dirt' on us and uncover the things we'd rather keep secret.
But that's all in the future, and for WORD Christchurch Festival 2026, opens a new window the Christchurch Archaeology Project, opens a new window archaeologists Katharine Watson, opens a new window and Jessie Garland, opens a new window were here to share stories from the past. This was a whirlwind trip through six favourite artefacts from the thousands in their archive, and for all of them the speakers shared information and stories in such a humorous and engaging way that the hour session just raced by.
The history of Christchurch is long, and there is no way I can convey all the factual information about the six different artefacts we saw, let alone the multiple stories surrounding the people who used them. So in the same way that Alice has to go and explore Wonderland to understand the strange things she sees around her (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll, opens a new window), I'm going to leave you to explore and find out more about these curious artefacts, opens a new window:
- Fake tortoiseshell celluloid hairpins: Perfect for when you know using ivory is bad, and that you shouldn't be killing turtles for their shells, but you just really want your hairdo to look good!
- Turkish Bear Grease: Thinning a little up top? We all know bears are super hairy, so obviously their grease will work for you too. ... Maybe just check what's in it though, as sometimes they'll say it's made of real bear, but we all know that advertising sometimes stretches the truth a little
- 'Frozen Charlotte' Dolls: You know how every winter you remember that you don't have a tiny naked porcelain doll to bake into a cake as a reminder of why young girls should listen to their mothers, dress appropriately for the weather, and not be totally vain? You really should do something about that. ... After all, if you're a young girl riding on a sleigh to a party with your boyfriend, and you don't take the blanket your mum offers, you're going to die of cold... And then your boyfriend will die of heartbreak. It's true - they've written stories and poems and ballads about it!
- Syphilis medication: You could use this if the men in your life had been a little 'busy', but it was also good for menopausal women. Medicine for all the family just in one small bottle!
- Please note: if you are a male doctor, living with a wife and daughters, and you are thinking a bottle of this would be the perfect choice to leave around your house as an artefact for future archaeologists to find, please make it easy for them! If you include info on whose it was, they'd really appreciate it, as otherwise they don't know if it was yours, your wife's, a client's ...
- Clay pipes: We all know the harmful effects of smoking but if you were hypothetically time travelling and looking for a smokable way to show off who you are, what you like, or where you've been - in the same way 21st century tote bags do - then these would be what you're looking for. Sure, use a plain and functional one if you need to, but if you want to be a bit bougie, to add some flair, or even show your allegiance to a particular political party, then go for it!
And finally: something I don't really have a name for. It's a desiccated sheep's foot, on a twisted sheep's leg, wearing the equivalent of a horseshoe - a 'sheepshoe?' - and made into a cane.
It was found under a house in Sumner after the quakes. It has a following among people working on different sites after the 2010/2011 earthquakes, and it even has its own special vocabulary associated with it. In Christchurch archaeology circles, it's called "The Stick of Malaise". And it looks like this ...
The stories and history that artefacts can tell is absolutely incredible, and I can't wait to hear what future historians think of us and how we live now.
But rather than worry about what they're going to learn from the things I'm throwing away, right now I'm just going to enjoy thinking back to some of the crazy curious artefacts I learnt about in this session.
Photos
View photos from Curious Artefacts
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