Finding Queer Joy: Out Here: An Anthology of Takatāpui and LGBTQIA+ Writers from Aotearoa: WORD Christchurch 2022

What a wonderful way to end my Friday and the second day of spring! I was stoked to be able to head along to WORD’s session on Out Here: An Anthology of Takatāpui and LGBTQIA+ Writers from Aotearoa, an anthology where writers from Aotearoa set out to fill the silence of homophobia and erasure in New Zealand through queer writing. The session was headlined by Chris Tse (he/him) (poet, short story writer, editor, and recently appointed NZ Poet Laureate 2022-24!), and Emma Barnes (they/them) author and co-editor of Out Here. Commentary and readings from special guests included A.J Fitzwater (writer), essa may ranapiri (they/ia) (poet), Ray Shipley (Christchurch based comedian, and writer), Sam Duckor-Jones (artist, poet), and Sascha Stronach (he/they) (fiction author).

Out Here

Out Here was published in November 2021 and is a remarkable anthology that explores queer New Zealand voices. Aotearoa is a beautiful country full of extraordinary queer writers, many of whom have contributed to our rich literary history, but you wouldn’t know that. Years of homophobia, violence against queer people, and erasure of their existence, have rendered some of our most influential and powerful writing invisible. Out Here is here to change that by bringing beautiful queer voices into the public domain.

For the first half of the performance, Chris Tse and Emma Barnes were welcomed to the stage by an enthusiastic audience alongside Sam Duckor-Jones and essa may ranapiri. Sam read some excerpts from their collection of poems and short stories covering a range of topics. Essa read their poem ‘We Walk backwards into Gender’ delivering a heartfelt reading. After the readings, moderator questions followed.

Chris started with a simple, but effective question “Who were your queer inspiration and literacy ancestors that you look up to?” Sam references Edward Gorey and Frank O’Hara as inspirations growing up and used to “fantasize about being a part of the social circle between Edward and Frank” who were close friends. Growing up, essa found that their wasn’t a lot of inspiration out there for them. Recently, Keri Hulme had become someone who inspired them saying “how she plays with language” excited them.

Following this, Emma asked “when was the first time you read a queer character? How did it influence your sexuality or gender?” essa and Sam both found this question difficult to answer, saying that during the time they were exploring sexuality and gender there was little literature out there to help them. Sam said that material that features characters who just happen to be queer is what stands out. Sam enjoyed books where queer people weren’t suffering but instead just getting along and living.

When talking about how queerness had changed in their work and how their writing about gender and sexuality had changed, both essa and Sam gave insightful commentary. A discussion formed around the idea that poems and fiction don’t have to be about the people you sleep with, and that queer art can be beautiful without the need for sex. It’s beautiful for queer people to step into a ‘straight’ space and it’s an act in itself to be able to disrupt that binary.

Writing is more about community now and how literacy can help and connect people. Stories have always been like this but to have permission to play and ask questions is important for the queer experience. Storytelling allows queer people to explore themselves through various mediums whether that is fiction, poetry, sculpture, photography, or even interpretive dance. A lot of queer life is ‘questioning’ and the act of storytelling allows individuals to question and learn about themselves.

Finally, “What makes poetry so queer?” asks Chris. Queer individuals have a strong connection to language and poetry’s relationship to language is also strong. The ability to communicate as queer individuals through a sense of community is important. Poems are small and isolating, queer people exist in small and sometimes isolating spaces. Queer poets can share stories and by creating queer poetry it gives you the room to explore those ideas.

Sasha, A.J and Ray were then welcomed to the stage and shared their poems with the room. Sasha shared a humorous and ‘filthy poem about intimacy and sex and the idea of constructing and deconstruing oneself. Ray shared their poem that touched on the idea of their body being a horror film exploring intimacy, violence, body horror, and self-indulgence. A.J, a speculative fiction writer, shared their story of a Christchurch set 100 years in a dystopian queer future.

Once again, questions followed. The first being “What is the future of queer writing in Aotearoa?” with impressive answers following. A.J said that as they have attended festivals in the past they have noticed that panels haven’t changed. They don’t want talks and events to be about how well queer people perform, their bodies, and the harm they go through. They want joy and to be able to share positive queer stories in the future. Sasha added that queer literature is about the performance of pain but wants that turned on the head so that queer hope, beauty, love, joy and possibility are shown as the world becomes a darker place. Ray concluded that their future is in what libraries can offer to queer people. The library is a safe space and queer displays and writing are beginning to be showcased more.

The final questions asks “what do you find joyful about being queer?”. This was my favourite question from the session with beautiful answers all around. A.J suggested that relearning the idea of queerness is important in order to associate it with positive energy instead of negative connotations. The queer community participates in the arts and drama and that is something that builds community and represents joy for them. Ray added that they find joy in the shared language that they have with friends. When Ray first thought about queerness and was exploring it, they said they found it embarrassing and tried to avoid thinking about it. Now, Ray gets joy just from being comfortable around other queer people. Belonging in the queer community, no matter how little or small, is what provides joy. Sasha concluded by saying that liberation and courage is what brings them joy; seeing someone being entirely themselves is f**king awesome.”

By the end of the event I was smiling ear to ear. The speakers were genuinely happy to be sharing their stories and it was beautiful to be able to sit in a room where queer people were comfortable with being themselves. Out Here brings beautiful queer and diverse voices to the forefront in Aotearoa and I feel immense gratitude in being a queer person who can be a part of the changing narrative happening around the world right now for queer people through media, literature, art, and drama.

Out Here celebrates queer Aotearoa writers from across the LGBTQIA+ and gender spectrum with a thoughtful collection of fiction, poetry, creative nonfiction and more. From electrifying newcomers to established names, the wide range of voices brought together are proud and loud, ensuring that future generations of queer people are given space to tell their stories and be themselves without fear of punishment, violence or harm.

Jesse
Fendalton Library

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