Yesterday I had the privilege of sharing vā, space with Shaneel Lal who was in conversation with Dr Mahdis Azarmandi, about their new memoir One of them.
The Fijian-New Zealander is an outspoken activist, writer, law student and Young New Zealander of the Year 2023.
Looking around the crowd filling up The Piano, it was warm and diverse. Young, old, all different hues, all shades of the rainbow. Large groups of friends, many individuals, parents with their teenagers, all intermingled. The only reminder that these conversations can have serious dangers was a staunch security guard keeping watch at the entrance.
Shaneel graces the stage, tall and immaculate, in a lavender suit, white pearls and trainers, like they’ve just stepped away from a magazine photoshoot. It’s not surprising that, yes, model is just another string to their bow!
Dr Azarmandi is a contrasted in all black, but we quickly established they are cut from a similar cloth - brown, queer and self-confessed troublemakers.
I think of my own positionality - “Youth adjacent”, an ally, a Pasifika person. No, not a troublemaker! It isn’t part of our traditional way so to speak, to be outspoken and go against the collective values. Hence why I was so keen to go witness the formidable Shaneel in the flesh.
The conversation began with Dr Azarmandi asking Shaneel why they had written One of them, describing it as more than a memoir but a social critique as well. Shaneel takes us straight back to Fiji, their childhood - how they witnessed the ostracizing of a queer person in the community, and how it terrified them. They could not see a future with themselves being themselves in it.
Later in the conversation Shaneel would shed tears for the children who are going through similar experiences, who might not grow up, who think they are better off dead. Being that child was the motivator for everything that has followed and why it was important for them to put it into words even at such a young age.
Shaneel speaks with great eloquence and maturity you forget they are only 23. The conversation flowed easily from childhood to conversion therapy to coming out. How they went from creating dolls clothing as a child to creating a social movement as an adult. We heard of prayers and enchanted bracelets, transient attempts to cure Shaneel of their queer curse. The most destructive thing they described was the use of aversion therapy. Resulting in “just being” meant living in constant pain and punishment.
Reliving the memory of being forced to come out in front of their peers saw Shaneel switch into advocate mode. They proclaimed the status quo isn’t working, that they’re over respectability politics and tired of being told how to react in these situations rather than holding the bigots accountable. The crowd responded in appreciative clicks, whoops and loud “Facts!”
Amongst the seriousness and pain there was sprinkles of humour:
- A recalling of a triumphant classroom retelling of Twilight, one where the vampire and werewolf end up together!
- “Packages of packages” in the department store – a funny reminder of the importance of open and honest conversation around relationships, sex and sexuality with our young people before they look for answers elsewhere.
- Shaneel being told to pray the gay away by a pastor at Middlemore Hospital and to contemplate heaven and hell. All the while they were thinking, if all the bigots were going to heaven they’d rather go to hell! This drew a loud collective giggle from the crowd.
The infamous #ConcealShaneel campaign was touched on. Why was there so much rage against someone? Why did people feel the need to turn their book around? All it did was give free social media promotion to the memoir.
Dr Azarmandi asked how they felt now that they’ve published their book and what’s next for the Young New Zealander of the Year.
Shaneel sighed, “it wasn’t healing, writing it opened a lot of vulnerability”. It’s here we saw a little bit behind the brave, a very young person who carries a lot of responsibility, constantly looking over their shoulder. This Young New Zealander of the year needs some respite to be just that, young! To do the things that your average 23-year-old is doing without the hate, the death threats and the campaign to conceal.
To end, there were some great questions from the crowd around media bias, hauora and staying well in the activism space, how to be a better ally and advice for our rangatahi.
All elicited great answers from Shaneel, the standout reply being - find a support group to be safe and:
“Be relentless whoever you are – unless you are a bigot then just don’t!”
Just like that we had run out of time. The surface was just scratched and now I am even more determined to get my hands on a copy of Shaneel’s book to read the rest.
I left, past the eager crowd in the lobby waiting to get their copies of One of them signed, feeling determined to be a better ally. Also, hopeful that these important messages of acceptance and inclusivity will not only continue to be spread in Aotearoa but reach across the Pacific to help our Pasifika LGBTQIA+ MVPFAFF+ family simply be able to grow up and live.
Vinaka Shaneel, thank you for being relentlessly you, speaking truths to power for those who might not feel able to do so. I am looking forward to seeing what you will do next!
Nora
Pasifika Community Liaison
Find out more
- WORD Christchurch website and 2023 programme
- Follow @WORDChCh on Twitter
- Follow WORDchch on Instagram
- Like WORD Christchurch on Facebook
- Our WORD Christchurch 2023 page
Add a comment to: WORD Christchurch 2023: Relentlessly Shaneel