I walked to The Piano nearly shaking with nerves. You’d almost think I was the one having to go on stage! It was finally time to see Ngāhuia te Awekōtuku in conversation with Tina Makereti about her autobiography Hine Toa: A story of bravery.
Ngāhuia has been a hero of mine for a long time. An icon in Aotearoa’s women’s, queer, and Māori liberation movements, she is also an emeritus professor and a founding member of Auckland University activist group Ngā Tamatoa. And a thousand other things. I first found out about her in high school when I found out about the Gay liberation movement in the USA and decided to research what happened here in Aotearoa. Lo and behold, the movement was spearheaded by a Māori lesbian. This whole time I thought my cousin and I were the only Māori lesbians on earth! Suddenly I felt I could be my whole self.
The event started. The room hushed as Ngahuia walked onstage. She had an incredible presence. Wearing a black leather layered draped outfit, she sat down across from Tina Makereti, looking confident and at home. As she started chatting with Tina she smiled with her whole face. They did the formalities with grace and poise, then reflected on the passing of Kiingi Tuheitia.
Tina asked, “Why this book and why now?” Ngāhuia admits it was peer pressure, while dropping some very big names. Audre Lorde and Joan Nestle had both pushed her in the past to write down her life story and get it published “or someone else would!” Ngahuia said it came together quickly because she is a compulsive writer, thinker and dreamer. She has always kept journals and writes every day. Tina pressured her for information about a sequel because, allegedly, all the juiciest bits of Ngahuia’s life happen after the book has finished. Ngahuia retorted “there’s unlikely to be a sequel because I don’t want to be taken to court!”
The topic changes to the shift in Aotearoa's attitude to LGBTQ+ issues since the events in Hine Toa. I found Ngahuia’s comment enlightening. She said growing up in a community in Māori society there was a different set of rules. Cousins would leave for a few months and come back as women, “and this was in the 50s!”. The were women who would wear trousers on the weekends, then Monday put their skirts back on for their post office job. She said the notion of ‘coming out’ was something she only encountered in the Pākehā world. The only rule was to be who you are, but don’t flaunt it. “But I was a flaunter!” she laughed. I remember getting into a heated argument with my mother in my teens when I tried to put a pride pin on my school bag, and she said nearly those exact words. I may be a flaunter too.
About her university years and the founding Nga Tamatoa, Ngāhuia said "It was another time", and they had the luxury of protest. People weren’t studying while they were worn down working multiple jobs just to get by. The economy was good, and the policies of the time worked in their favour. “Intellectual ambition was taonga and supported by the government.” I’m going to be thinking about this statement for a while.
Tina said that she really enjoyed how Hine Toa was so detailed and accessible. Ngāhuia said to her that’s the difference between academic writing for work and the freedom of creative non-fiction. I forgot the exact word she used to describe the academic writing she usually does, but she said she really enjoyed writing something less ‘stuffy’. Next, she wants to write a novel like Makareti’s The Mires. I’m really looking forward to this one!
Ngā mihi
Arwen
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Photos from Hine Toa: Ngāhuia te Awekōtuku
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